Sometimes I don't have words. Especially those times when I've pushed someone so far away and don't know how to say that unfortunately for that minute one tiny ounce of me wants to be close. I know it will pass, but it doesn't make the moment any different. It's hard. Hard to let go. Hard to know what's really ok. I don't have examples. I don't have a natural gift for getting it. I just have me. Little old awkward me. I couldn't tell you what I wanted or even what I didnt. All I knew was that I shut down. Why? Maybe it was the last time I saw him. Maybe I'm just an awkward potato. Idk. I guess it doesn't matter. For now for this moment I have me. I will be ok. I will be loved I will feel safe. Thank God for that. Protect me. Help me. Save me. I am lost. Empower me to see. I am scared. Empower me to bravery. I am alone. Empower me to embrace. I am a daughter of God who loves me. I am worthy of be cherished and respected.
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